Comments for welcome http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org Another excellent Edublogs.org weblog Wed, 11 Feb 2009 11:56:14 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 hourly 1 Comment on opinionated article: Is Placing Microchips in Humans the New Slavery? by 13saitos http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/2009/02/07/opinionated-article-is-placing-microchips-in-humans-the-new-slavery/comment-page-1/#comment-8 13saitos Wed, 11 Feb 2009 11:56:14 +0000 http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/?p=10#comment-8 Yes I think you are right but puting microchips are maby too over because it means their priviet is lost and it will be inpossble to put into every one. Nice article and great job. B-) Yes I think you are right but puting microchips are maby too over because it means their priviet is lost and it will be inpossble to put into every one. Nice article and great job. B-)

]]> Comment on twilight the movie by Colin Campbell http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/2009/01/07/twilight-the-movie/comment-page-1/#comment-7 Colin Campbell Thu, 15 Jan 2009 12:25:58 +0000 http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/?p=9#comment-7 Your enthusiasm for the movie and the novel come across Nayana. You also provide some good initial ideas about what it is that makes 'Twilight' original and different from other books/films in this genre. To raise the level of your analysis you need to go deeper though. We need comments on characterisation, plot development and themes. Or you could have elaborated on the differences between the novel and the film....Mr C Your enthusiasm for the movie and the novel come across Nayana. You also provide some good initial ideas about what it is that makes ‘Twilight’ original and different from other books/films in this genre. To raise the level of your analysis you need to go deeper though. We need comments on characterisation, plot development and themes. Or you could have elaborated on the differences between the novel and the film….Mr C

]]> Comment on persuading letter practice. by 13morpethd http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/2008/11/15/persuading-letter-practice/comment-page-1/#comment-4 13morpethd Tue, 18 Nov 2008 01:43:58 +0000 http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/?p=6#comment-4 some spelling mistakes and needs to be more formal but overall good argument some spelling mistakes and needs to be more formal but overall good argument

]]> Comment on persuading letter practice. by Colin Campbell http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/2008/11/15/persuading-letter-practice/comment-page-1/#comment-3 Colin Campbell Mon, 17 Nov 2008 02:33:51 +0000 http://chocoholic3.edublogs.org/?p=6#comment-3 Nayana, Some strong arguments, you appeal to Mr Taylor's reason by giving the examples of other schools. Perhaps your second paragraph becomes a little too direct. Try to avoid assuming you know what the other person is thinking, certainly never state you know their thoughts. I think your arguments are strong enough to warrant a meeting with you. The complexity and variety of your sentences is really improving but watch for the use of i rather than I. Thanks, Mr C Nayana,

Some strong arguments, you appeal to Mr Taylor’s reason by giving the examples of other schools. Perhaps your second paragraph becomes a little too direct. Try to avoid assuming you know what the other person is thinking, certainly never state you know their thoughts. I think your arguments are strong enough to warrant a meeting with you.

The complexity and variety of your sentences is really improving but watch for the use of i rather than I.

Thanks,

Mr C

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